MotoGP Sachs..Sach…Sacnchs…oh well Marquez won and these are the semi-serious report cards!

Ceci: mincallrcmarquez mincallrcmarquez mincallrcmarquez mincallrcmarquez mincallrcmarquez mincallrcmarquez mincallrcmarquez mincallrcmarquez mincallrcmarquez!
Debs: You seriously said it nine times without twisting your tongue?
Mari: STOP EVERYONE! SHUT UP! ACHTUNG!
Debs: ahhhh! Which is? What do you want? What are you doing?
Mari: There is someone here who birthday!!!
Debs: yeah!!! Barrels of alcohol for everyone!!!
Ceci: Get out the glasses!
Mari: oh, what alcohol! Coke and orange soda!
Debs: That?? But who ages?
Mari: our super megacool official graphic!
Debs: son of the boss?
Mari: yes!
* Ceci hastily hides the alcohol *
Debs: but then best wishes to the great Matteo!! How many?
Mari: 6! He's going to school next year!
Debs: aaaah, that's why Alessio went to watch the World Cup final in Germany in a bar supporting Argentina...
Mari: oh yes, seek death before having to enter the fantastic world of divisions!
Ceci: ok, you celebrate... I'll celebrate.
Mari, Debs: to Cuccia!!!!!

Here we are! Another race! We are in Germany at Sacsering, to Sachering, to Sachestunkened (Debs: but damn it if you can't say this circuit! Mari: calm and cool, it's Sachsenring. Debs: it's easier to write marcmarqezziggiare, marcmarqijmfoe… Oh wow..!), but today everyone cares a little about MotoGP, including the riders.
Given the black clouds on the horizon which promise a wet development for the race, the drivers all find themselves in the pits wait for the World Cup final, except Bradl and a few others, who are sitting comfortably on the grid. All the other drivers and some mechanics prefer it thread the umbrellas, with more or less satisfying results, since no one really wants to go onto a track where you can't tell whether you're riding motorbikes or jet skis.
It's raining, it's not raining. Nobody wants to go around, then they remember that they are paid to do it (Debs: what a terrible job they have...) and they leave "calmly" from the pits, where there is one a traffic jam that you don't even see when leaving Rimini on August 1st.

Rimini, 1 August 2014

It is theBradl occasion. Everyone who counts (including Marquez) starts twenty-four seconds late, also because the toll booth had run out of coins and everything stopped.
The German can take advantage of this to take a half-race lead even on the second, Danilo Petrucci.
Eventually the toll booth unlocks, he leaves the moment of ignorance with Espargarò who checks out a few random people and, shouting: THIS IS SPART… Um… THE SACHSENRING!!!, the herd of excited people pours onto the track like students out of school on the last day of class (Debs: or like Mari after passing Technical Physics... By the way: you no longer have the right to say about the colors that take away your diopters after I saw your book...).
Needless to say, Marquez and Pedrosa took less than a quarter of a lap to collect everyone and enter Mario Kart mode (Mari: how sad... Once upon a time we would have said Crash Team Racing... Debs: I don't know if anyone remembers...). Ten seconds later and everyone was eaten, Bradl included. For the German it is the beginning of the end. AND' the only one to go around with a dinghy instead of a motorbike. In the meantime, in the pits they continue to prepare the bikes, just so as not to lose the rhythm and occupy the free time obtained from the lack of approach with the umbrellas.
BRadl seems to have gone into reverse and will finish sixteenth at snail speed.
In one of these situations Smith falls for the twentieth time in the space of two days: it took longer to see the world from the ground than on the bike.
Aside from Bradl's relegation, it's the same old story up front: Marc takes it and runs away, Pedrosa prints record times by copying Marquez's every move, it's the speed of sound stuff, but it's not enough to catch him. Behind them, like half a runway away, an excellent Jorge Lorenzo, who every now and then comes out of hibernation and returns to the podium, just to remind us that he exists. Fourth, again, Rossi. Excellent fifth Iannone, which once again is the best of the Ducatis.
Here the one who risks lynching is Bradl... But luckily Germany is World Champion and no one will remember his great figure.

Find the differences…

Marc “Beethoven” Marquez, rating: NC: “yes, my opponents are Dani and Rossi, I saw that they were going out on rain tires and I went out like them, I saw that they were returning to the pits and I came back too (and in the meantime I'm telling everyone ahahahah)”. It's embarrassing. Point.

Dani "second!!!" Pedrosa, vote: 10: It couldn't have been done better than this today. From the back of the line he wriggles, he kicks, punctures the tires of other drivers to get to his beloved second position: there he now feels safe and gives up on attacking an elusive Marquez. Now the positions are counted from the second onwards. So let's say he won. Yes, let's ignore Marquez.

George “hey I'm running, huh?!” Lorenzo, vote: 8: comes second, but a thousand thousand seconds behind Pedrosa. Maybe it's because under his helmet he had those damned fluorescent green glasses that made him stumble more than usual and took him first in the human GP; the anti-doping test will still be carried out. Of course it's always nice when he lets us know that he's still registered for the world championship, but we'd like to see him fighting!

Valentino “I see the first three with binoculars” Rossi, vote: 6: The conditions weren't the best, but this is where experience should come into play. In the end he is excellent fourth, but too many seconds behind Lorenzo.

Andrew "Official Ducati?” Iannone, vote: 8: the only thing we feel like saying is: Ducati, wake up!

Stefan “wow” Bradl, rating: “luckily Germany won the World Cup”: at the start his frankfurter and beer tactics Directly from Saxony it seemed like the winner, but the barrel sensationally left the wet set-up and unfortunately paid the consequences (especially the beer bite from the 4th lap onwards), a shame, because it was doing very well.

Thanks to the World Cup, no one will remember his race in the back...

Ceci: seeing as those two big girls didn't make me worry, I'll try to close the report cards myself and give you an appointment next time MarcGP…
Mari and Debs: to what? What are you saying?
Ceci: MotoGP… It's now obvious that Marquez wins, so I decided to nickname it MarcGP
Mari: yes, Ceci, yes... Calm down, nothing happened. Now sit there while everything settles down.
* meanwhile Debs takes a wooden club and hits Ceci on the head *
Mari: ok, let's thank Debs for silencing Ceci (for now) and we'll talk to you about the next GP which will be too far away.
Debs: Please! But does August 10th exist?
Mari: apparently… Bye!!

In collaboration with: Deborah Iacopetta
Photos: Alex Farinelli (Bradl and Espargarò)