MotoGP Brno…The Semi-Series Report Cards MinchiaMarcMarquez….part 2

Debs: Marika! Let's be clear!
Mari: Oh, what is it?
Debs: If you mention Star Trek to me again this time around, I'll...
Mari: You that?
Debs: I'm sending you on the Millennium Falcon!
Mari: That is, Star Trek, do you answer with Star Wars?
Debs: Precisely!
Mari: Well if Han Solo is there I'll be fine with that too!
Debs: But you are incorrigible! It's enough for you that it's something that flies in space!!
Mari: And with a handsome and charming captain!
Debs: You are incorrigible!!
Mari: Shall we report?
Debs: Yes before I use you as a body for Space's relationship!
Mari: You also give me a handsome and charming captain?
Debs: You're hopeless...let's report.

Here we are again, the second of three consecutive stages that will end next week with, among other things, the Superbike.
Thanks Dorna. Our brains will always love you for this overload of stuff in the middle of the autumn exam session.
Just to break the monotony of the usual trio of wonders, Crutchlow and Bautista start from the first and second positions, which implies that anything can happen in the race.
At the start, however, everything goes back to how it was before, never mind that we delude ourselves into seeing a race without that Livio Suppo needs a coronary transplant. And indeed.
The moment the traffic lights go out, from the garage to Lorenzo a mega suppository is shot in the ass one of those that not even the Italian government has yet managed to foist on us, which makes him do a triple forward pike jump with a twist that finds the Spanish driver in first position at the first corner before Lorenzo himself even notices it.
After a few laps and we are all back to normal.
Lorenzo trying to escape, Marquez chasing him like the Enterprise chases the Klings…
Debs: Mari! What did I tell you?
…Um…I meant as if there were no tomorrow and Pedrosa who like a good sly man sleeps around leaving his teammate to risk his life to do the dirty work.
Behind them the new purchase of Ducati, who wants to take as much glory as possible before ending up fighting with Dovizioso at the back next year. The vodka is vodkaing great and Cal feels like he has a turbojet instead of the Yamaha engine. From fourth behind a circuit he tries to catch up with the leading group, but his bike doesn't fit and he throws him to the ground without too many compliments.
They thank you Rossi and Bautista who, not knowing what to do with their lives, fight each other all over the track until someone reminds Bautista that he already has too many precedents with Rossi and convinces the Spaniard to slow down.

Up front nothing happens as usual, damned little square of Mediaset. And so while the little man from the very fresh Frisk reminds us that "her is metal" here Marquez begins to do what he does best: break Lorenzo's balls (and the coronary arteries in Suppo).
He invents some acrobatic things and with three laps to go he drops the atomic bomb. He crosses the entire track and throws himself into a corner risking not having a tomorrow.
It is not clear how he remained standing, but Lorenzo finds himself third.
And Dani? What did he do in the meantime?
We don't know, but in our opinion he had started to sew up his shoulder with cross stitch... or maybe he had simply fallen asleep after hooking up his bike to Marquez's to be able to sleep in peace without losing the leading group.
In favor of the second hypothesis we can say that after Marquez's decisive break the tightrope broke, waking up poor Dani who was dreaming of a world championship without damnably uncomfortable teammates.
Angry as hell, Camomillo then decides to attack Lorenzo too. Not so much to move forward one position, but togo and pick up Marc, guilty of having abruptly woken him up right before lifting the MotoGP World Champion trophy.

With one lap to go the positions are defined and we are all happy and content. Marquez won his fifth race in MotoGP, which is nothing for a rookie in the premier class, we all know that. Pedrosa came second for a change and Lorenzo closed out the podium.
Rossi was fourth and Bautista was fifth, who attempted a useless sprint.
After a lifetime and a half it also arrives Bradl, holding beer and pretzels he had a lot to fight for in this race.
Seventh and eighth are the two Ducatis, who this time reach the finish line without killing each other.

After risking coronaries, the HRC men welcome their champions!

Marc “rookie” Marquez: vote 5. Five races in the championship, four consecutive (a rookie hadn't done it since Mike the Bike, as Beltramo reminded us). Ranking leader. We don't know if he will win the world championship, but one thing is certain: he has already won the world championship for the revival of MotoGP, and we will never be grateful enough for this.

Dani "Lullaby" Pedrosa: vote 9. At this time we all thought that she wouldn't go because of her shoulder. But no. The former 250 world champion simply had the wrong tactic, so he says. In fact we all know that he fell asleep in the saddle. Marquez does the dirty work anyway. He's the one who needs to experience.

This photo promises a hot sequel... which we don't want to know anything about!!

Jorge “Perfect" Lorenzo: vote 10. Yes. 10 to him too. He did everything he could to stay close to the Honda torpedoes. He made a perfect start and tried to escape. But the HRC duo is impregnable... not to mention that after a while the supposed one fired at them at the start annoyed them... We still don't know if he managed to extract it...but we hope so.

Callus “poleman” Crutchlow. Vote 6. After Saturday's incredible pole position, completed by the historic gesture of the umbrella, he obviously went out to get drunk with his M1, to which he added vodka instead of petrol. The result is that on Sunday both were convinced that they were a fighter…and as such they flew away.

Valentino Rossi: vote 7. He fights the whole race with the very dangerous highlighter, aware of the risk of being mowed down at every turn. He tries to get rid of it by flying directly to Silverstone, but this isn't enough and the nine-time world champion finds himself in his way until the finish line. Emerging unscathed.

Alvaro “omg Rossi” Bautista. Vote 10. He did the whole and let's say the whole race with Rossi and managed not to knock him down. The only moment in which he was able to breathe a sigh of relief was when Rossi, trying to get rid of him, took the road to England, but then the Pesaro man came back to attack him. But we note the miracle that both finished the race.

The Ducatis: vote 10: They too race together and on this lap they manage to maintain a minimum safe distance enough to avoid killing each other. Or perhaps the Germans installed gods on the motorcycles magnets such as to keep the two motorbikes at a distance.

The box: vote 100. If he wasn't there, nothing would happen for the whole race.

Toni Cairoli. Score 222. SEVEN gentlemen's world championships. Hats off and proud of our current best representative in motorsport!

Toni Cairoli: 7 times well done!

Debs: Wow we have reached the end of this report card too!
Mari: Sounds amazing huh?
Debs: Yes…if we survive until next Sunday we can conquer the world! But what can I say...the entire universe!!!
Mari: On board the Enterprise or the Millennium Falcon?
Debs: But everything is fine! As long as the commander is handsome and charming!
Mari: And then I was the one without hope….

Photos:Alex Farinelli
In collaboration with: Deborah Iacopetta